New Beginnings

Hi there,

Welcome to my little corner of the internet where I will be dumping my most inner thoughts in a place people can read and keep track of. I'm doing this for two main reasons. First I want to maintain honesty with myself and to others with how I'm actually doing as I suffer from a few different mental issues that I'm slowly working through, with therapy, to overcome coupled with a recent and painful breakup and restructuring of my life. Second I want to have a corner that isn't Mastadon or other social media where I don't have to worry about venting and filling up people's timelines with extremely personal things. I believe in letting people approach me or where I express such so they can find it when they want it, instead of being subjected to it. ^^


With that, enjoy! And remember, these are my thoughts, 100% and do not represent anyone I know or associate with. They are completely mine :)

One Hell of a Sunday

I was playing games with a friend when I started to hit an anxiety spiral at around 2 to 3. First true spiral I've had in quite a while but damn was it a big one. I'm still getting over my ex and I's parting, back in December. Shit's been hard, I'm not gonna lie but I'm making progress slowly, gradually. I've at least got a few goals I set for myself and now have a path. I kind of hit rock bottom as far as emotions go, coming to terms and facing a lot of my problems that I'd always run from. Her and I's breakup was probably one of the hardest and most painful things I've ever gone through and yet at the end of the day... I've left feeling optimistic.

I miss her a shit ton, and still worry about her, worry how she's doing. We'll be friends again, things will be better in time for both of us, but damn does being in the "in time" part suck. Things will work out, on that I'm very optimistic, but as I've learned to take to heart, its all just one step at a time, one day at a time. I always said I knew what that meant but only now do I actually understand it and that makes me happy.