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Long time no write
Apr. 19th, 2019 01:33 pmBusy busy. Job stuff FINALLY moving forward, holy crap! So that's good. Meeting more locals is good, too and so its just been hectic.
I've had a few anxiety dips I'll admit, mostly over small stuff but I've been recollecting myself a lot faster than before. Anxiety is slowly drifting into becoming background noise and if I keep working at it eventually it'll be a more easily ignorable little sound in the distance.
My new therapist I'm finally feeling comfortable to open up to, which is rare for me in such short order but I think with the anxiety becoming more suppressed I'm less worried about just being myself.
I've had self esteem crashes of all things more lately, mostly in worrying that I'm never doing enough for others and that they always see me as slacking. I know it isn't the case but its a nagging fear I've had for a long while and the other day it became a cacophony in my mind that took a while to break and suppress. I need to remind myself to ramble here instead of on social media or at friends in order to make sure I'm not offloading too much on others. I've done it before and it drains people, and while I'm immensely better about it now it still happens, I'll still dump at people and I just have to be very wary of it. But being aware of it I say is the first real step to improvement and so let's keep going with that!
I've had a few anxiety dips I'll admit, mostly over small stuff but I've been recollecting myself a lot faster than before. Anxiety is slowly drifting into becoming background noise and if I keep working at it eventually it'll be a more easily ignorable little sound in the distance.
My new therapist I'm finally feeling comfortable to open up to, which is rare for me in such short order but I think with the anxiety becoming more suppressed I'm less worried about just being myself.
I've had self esteem crashes of all things more lately, mostly in worrying that I'm never doing enough for others and that they always see me as slacking. I know it isn't the case but its a nagging fear I've had for a long while and the other day it became a cacophony in my mind that took a while to break and suppress. I need to remind myself to ramble here instead of on social media or at friends in order to make sure I'm not offloading too much on others. I've done it before and it drains people, and while I'm immensely better about it now it still happens, I'll still dump at people and I just have to be very wary of it. But being aware of it I say is the first real step to improvement and so let's keep going with that!
