Loneliness

Some nights I feel incredibly alone even surrounded by my friends. You get used to having that special someone always there, next to you, coming home. Or in turn returning from a long day to see them smile and greet you. You get used to it... To not have them anymore hurts. Moving hurts, leaving hurts, being alone again hurts.

I wish time would pass and it would heal already.

It's month three since the breakup and it hurts less all in all, I've moved forward, but I haven't completely moved on, and a night like tonight I spend it in the dark wishing I had her close to just... simply hug and have someone near.

I don't let myself dwell as much anymore on what happened, I've forgiven myself, I've found paths forward, I've found new friends, rekindled friendships with those I let slip, become more social, and overall am a lot further along than I was even last year. I'm arguably happier than I have been in years, things are going well and I feel... gleeful.

Yet tonight, I feel alone, and tonight I give myself time to let the emotions that are still there run free.

Tonight I miss what I had, even if it wasn't perfect.

I miss her.